That I’d written a blog post on a Monday morning was great. The reality of my netbook battery dying just as my finger was about to press “save,” spelled “potential turning point.”
Suddenly there was a distinct possibility that I would quit NaNoWriMo, blogging, flossing and cooking dinner.
When I didn’t know I had ADHD those inevitable messy parts of daily life would take me on, and most often, win. I accepted it as normal that I would jet over to the opposite end of zen, and mentally torture myself with loathing words such as, “Why bother? You’re going to eventually fail anyway!”
But today I’m taking charge of this moment, which pulses with potential disaster thanks to my deleted post (which, by the way, was GREAT). Instead of quitting everything, I’m “going random.” By Tuesday, the traditional day of blogging randomness, I plan to have moved forward. Besides, I’m not feeling the least bit musical, which we all know would be more appropriate, because in the blogging realm it is Musical Monday. But I’ve broken up with appropriate.
“Going random” isn’t quitting. It is simply a tempered blogging equivalent of “going postal.” *Repeat*
I dedicate this post in honor of all bloggers and writers who have ever hit “delete” by mistake. I’m in week two of NaNoWriMo and for some reason that may be misguided, I am determined to still post here every few days. This isn’t because I think anyone is waiting out there with baited breath or anything ego-maniacal like that, but because of my history.
My history practically dictates that anything I don’t keep doing, whether it be writing, knitting a sweater, or painting my toenails, I absolutely can’t set aside if I ever want to finish. My focus can be intense, but once lost, stays lost. I’m an optimistic type who is great at starting projects, but when faced with the teeniest and inevitable roadblocks of life, have no problem swinging immediately to extreme and hopeless pessimism. It’s an internal combustion. Unless it’s the toenail painting, no one except me ever notices.
I’ m pretty sure my husband is in South Africa right now, but he may be in South America. What’s the difference? We’re his family and we are here. And what’s the difference to him, when every hotel and conference room looks alike, and whenever I talk to him it’s raining where he is? Global business travel: Way overrated. Did you know that Belarus is both really flat and east of Poland?
I’m moving forward with NaNoWriMo. Spitting out the first draft of a novel in such a rush is exciting, in a way, even though what I’m writing isn’t. As tempted as I am to put on my editor’s hat and rewrite, meddle and analyze, I don’t have the time. Is it a really bad novel at this point? Heck, yeah.
The weather has turned fall-like and gorgeous around here the past few days. In a burst of inspiration, “Sparkle” (that’s the blog name of my younger daughter, not of the horse she is pictured with here. The horse’s name is “Sam), replaced all the buttons on last year’s jacket with a funky array of new ones, each one different. I love it! What do you think?
Have a great week, and please consider yourself warned: plug in your laptops and do your best to avoid “delete.”